I'm about to reveal some things that will continue to be healing to my soul. So reader get ready. Ready if you can't take honesty, please do not continue to read this.
What is love, as I sit here thinking about those words, I realize that I was able to give love 100% at one point in my life. The reality of feeling needed not needy. The reality of two people being committed to each other no matter the ups and downs of things. Things worth fighting for. Planning everything together and the outside world could not break this bond. Awesome it was, I thought God had finally giving me all that I could ask for in life. A full proof friendship that I was no longer afraid to put my walls down. I was able to recognize my strengths and understood my weaknesses.I can remember looking to the sky feeling so complete and wholesome and nothing could stop that as long as I we were willing to work toward a common goal.
If you were thinking of a man and woman, you would say that is wonderful and I wish I had that; however, if you thought it was about two women or two men then you would label it two lesbians or two gay guys.
The real reality should be that two people should be able to express themselves without judgement. There is no physical gestures here and nor is there a desire to be physical. Genuine Love for one another is all it is.
You see, God intended for us to love each other without any motives; however, because the world has labeled this kind of love, we tend to hold back what is really so. We start in our minds not caring about people unconditionally and then it come to our reality.
Our biggest command is to Love. Where did that go. Do we live by God's commandments? or Have we forgotten about how important we are to one another?
This is not condoning any life style because I am very clear on what God says about certain life styles; however, this is a command to get back to the simple things of life and stop the judgement and get back to loving one another.
PEACE
Monday, June 21, 2010
I DON'T KNOW
Sometimes I sit and I'm not sure what I want to write about. Sometimes it comes easy and other times I really have to think about it. As I stated before, writting is theraputic and I enjoy every minute that I can sit here and flow. I started writing about the things that keeps me ticking and as I sit here fighting off the bugs writing gives me a feeling of water being poured of my face so relaxing and serene. To my understanding water is symbolic of the Holy Spirit and to that I say 'Awesome' because I've always felt this and now I know what it is. Thank you Jesus.
I like to give props to my Lord and Savior for bringing me to a place of peace with myself, because at one point in my life, I knew I was loosing it and right when I was about to break, he lifted me. Knowing that he would take a little time to be healed he remained patient with me. I thought he wasn't here with me and didn't care to be, but as I go through this journey in my quiet place, it's revealed to me that he never left. You were just watching me. Wow! is all I can say. I thank God that he didn't leave me to the wolves and if I would have stayed in Dallas, that's where I would have ended up. The willingness to stay in my car and my friends not caring what happens next because they thought my situation was a joke and I was trying to get over. I felt desparate and didn't have anywhere to turn. Home is always a safe haven but it could also be my trap. God quickly stood me up and had me contact a dear friend who helped me sort through some things and home bound I was.
Now I'm home! what's been going on for me here. I work for Edward Jones as a Educational Specialist for business retirement plans. I'm currently studying for my Securities Licensing. My social life hasn't kicked off (Yet)but I trust that will be next. Career is first. I'm emotionally healthy and that is the most important part of my Journey. I haven't found a church home and to be honest, I haven't had the desire or the energy to go to church. It doesn't make sense to me right now.
God knows about my situation and when the revelation comes, he will let me know.
I like to give props to my Lord and Savior for bringing me to a place of peace with myself, because at one point in my life, I knew I was loosing it and right when I was about to break, he lifted me. Knowing that he would take a little time to be healed he remained patient with me. I thought he wasn't here with me and didn't care to be, but as I go through this journey in my quiet place, it's revealed to me that he never left. You were just watching me. Wow! is all I can say. I thank God that he didn't leave me to the wolves and if I would have stayed in Dallas, that's where I would have ended up. The willingness to stay in my car and my friends not caring what happens next because they thought my situation was a joke and I was trying to get over. I felt desparate and didn't have anywhere to turn. Home is always a safe haven but it could also be my trap. God quickly stood me up and had me contact a dear friend who helped me sort through some things and home bound I was.
Now I'm home! what's been going on for me here. I work for Edward Jones as a Educational Specialist for business retirement plans. I'm currently studying for my Securities Licensing. My social life hasn't kicked off (Yet)but I trust that will be next. Career is first. I'm emotionally healthy and that is the most important part of my Journey. I haven't found a church home and to be honest, I haven't had the desire or the energy to go to church. It doesn't make sense to me right now.
God knows about my situation and when the revelation comes, he will let me know.
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